Marriage and Divorce, Philosophy, Relationships

The Philosophy of Love

On the eve of Jade Goody’s wedding with fiance Jack Tweed, the latter was quoted saying ‘I love Jade more than anything.’ As I was trying to philosophise about love and the words ‘more than anything‘ I realised that Jade would never utter the same words for Jack. No! She may utter them but not from the bottom of her heart, or perhaps with a different emphasis! No doubt she loves Jack so much, and this wedding marks a new beginning in their relationship. But, I think, she loves her two boys more than anything. What do you think?


Zimbabwe losing sovereignty?

IT is official, Zimbabwe has opted to use US dollars instead of its crumbling Zim dollar. Finance Minister Tendai Biti’s announcement that civil servants would be paid in foreign currency means a lot of things to different people.

To most Zimbabweans, it is good news. The US dollar is stable and has much more value. It can be used to buy goods beyond Zimbabwe without much ado. So, the finance minister’s decision is good news to most Zimbabweans but raises more questions as to the sovereignty of the country. All countries have got their own currencies. How come Zimbabwe is choosing to go American?


Bad omen of Africa’s power-sharing governments

IF results in Zimbabwe’s 2008 general elections are something to go by, the recently installed power-sharing government has more negatives than positives for the rest of Africa. To some extent, it is a bad lesson Zimbabwe learnt from Kenya, whose last elections (2007), too, were a defilement of democracy.

It is an undeniable truth that in both countries, incumbents lost elections but clang to power. Kenya’s President Mwai Kibaki broke world records by taking the oath of office within half an hour after the controversial results had been announced – paving way for public protests that led to catastrophic tribal clashes, people displacements, bloodshed and deaths throughout the country. He had to give in to opposition demands and international pressure to form an inclusive, power-sharing government in a new constitutional set up.

Zimbabwe’s Robert Mugabe used police and the army to terrorize opposition supporters after learning that he lost the election. His incumbency and political tricks earned him only 43 percent of popular votes, while his rival Morgan Tvangirai got 47 percent – 4 percent short of consitutional requirement to declare him winner! But Mugabe eventually emerged winner in a second round that he managed to contest unopposed after Tsvangirai withdrew in protest to Mugabe’s dirty and brutal tactics against the opposition.

Again, public disapproval and international pressure have forced Mugabe to accept the reality of sharing power with the opposition – that had won the popular vote in the first place.

And if there are any winners, Mugabe and Kibaki are. But they are not happy because they are evil winners! They know how much they lost people’s trust and support. In both cases, the truth that keeps running and ringing is that losers were declared winners against people’s wishes.

And the lesson it gives to the rest of Africa – which is still struggling to find its place in the democratic world – is a bad one. Incumbent losers will never relinquish power. They will seek to rule in a power-sharing government because it is becoming a fashion, a way to legitimize evil-earned power.

As it goes, Zimbabwe and Kenya are setting an evil precedent for the rest of Africa. And given the fact the Zimbabwe power-sharing government was eventually mediated by leaders of the Southern African Development Countries (SADC), it is deliberately becoming a political blessing to the tricks of rigging elections.

We may not have to wait long before witnessing the third power-sharing government. Will it be Zanzibar’s turn after October 2010 elections?

Zimbabwe's President Robert Mugabe
Zimbabwe's President Robert Mugabe






Men, Relationships

Why do black men date white women?

You do not need to have dated a black or white woman to read this article. A friend of mine sent it to me, and I thought it was fair enough to share it with readers of this blog. It sounds American, and it is full of sentiments and a bit of competition, but it is worth a discussion. It delves into the different feelings and reactions men have on white and black women and the resulting impression from women themselves. We do not need to agree on everything written here, but I think for novices or gurus in relationships, this is a very emotional and yet healthy debate worth having. Read on and give your views:

Friend’s prologue: It seems that an article was written to Sister 2 Sister magazine by a Caucasian woman who requested a response from black men. I’m so glad she got what she asked for (and more) !!!                                                                            

The debate starts:

”Dear Jamie:                                                                                                          
 I’m sorry but I would like to challenge some of your black male readers. I am a white female who is engaged to a black male-good-looking, educated and loving. I just don’t understand a lot of black female’s attit udes about our relationship.                                                                                   
My man decided he wanted me because the pickings amongst black women were slim to none. As he said they were either too fat, too loud, too mean, too  argumentative, too needy, too materialistic or carrying too much excess baggage.                                                                                                 
Before I became engaged, whenever I went out I was constantly approached by black men, willing to wine and dine me and give me the world. If lack women are so up in arms about us being with their men, why don’t they look at themselves and make some changes. I am tired of the dirty looks I get and snide remarks when we’re out in public. I would like to hear from some black men about why we are so appealing and coveted by them.

Bryant Gumbel just left his wife of 26 years for one of us Charles Barkley, Scottie Pippen, the model Tyson Beckford, Montell Williams, Quincy Jo nes, James Earl Jones, Harry Belafonte, Sydney Poitier, Kofi Anan, Cuba Gooding Jr., Don Cornelius , Berry Gordy, Billy Blanks, Larry Fishburne, Wesley Snipes…  I could go on and on. But, right now, I’m a little angry and that is why I wrote  this so hurriedly. Don’t be mad with us White women because so many of your men want us. Get your acts together and learn from us and we may lead you to treat your men better. If I’m wrong, Black men, let me know.”                                                                                                             
Disgusted White Girl, Somewhere in VA

”Dear Jamie,                                                                                                         
I would like to respond to the letter written by A Disgusted White Girl. Let me start by saying that I am a 28-year old black man. I graduated from one of the most prestigious universities in Atlanta , Georgia with a Bachelor of Arts Degree in Business Management. I have a good job a t a major corporation and have recently purchased a house. So, I consider myself to be among the ranks of successful black men. 

I will not use my precious time to slander white people. I just want to set the record straight on why black men date white women. Back in the day, one of the main reasons why black men dated white  women was because they were considered easy. The black girls in my neighborhood were raised in the church. They were very strict about when they lost their virginity and who they lost it to. Because of our impatience to wait, brothers would look for someone who would give it up easy without too much hassle. So, they turned to the white girls. Nowadays, in my opinion, a lot of brothers date white women because they are docile and easy to control. A lot of black men, because of insecurities, fears, and overall weaknesses, have become intimidated by the strength of our black women. We are afraid that our woman will be more successful than us, make more money than us, drive nicer cars and own bigger houses. Because of this fear, many black men look for a more docile woman. Someone we can control. 

I have talked to numerous black men and they continuously comment on how easy it is to control and walk  over their white women. I just want to set the record straight. I want A Disgusted White Girl to know that not  all successful black men date white women. Brothers like Ahmad Rashad, Denzel Washington, Michael Jordan, Morris Chestnut, Will Smith, Blair Underwood, Kenneth ‘Babyface’ Edmonds, Samuel L. Jackson, and Chris Rock all married strong black women. And, to flip the script, there are numerous white men, in and out of the spotlight, who openly or secretly desire black women over white women. Ted Danson, Robert DeNiro, and David Bowie to name a few.

I just don’t want a disgusted white girl to be misinformed. Stop thinking that because you are white that you are some type of goddess. Remember, when black Egyptian Queens like Hatsepshut and Nitorcris were ruling yynasties and armies of men in Egypt , you were over in the caves of Europe eating raw meat and beating each other over the head with  clubs. Read your history!                                                                                                   
It was the black woman that taught you how to cook and season your  food. It was the black woman that taught you how to raise your children. It  was black women who were breast feeding and raising your babies during slavery. It was the black woman that had to endure watching their fathers, husbands, and children beaten, killed, and thrown in jail. Black women were born with two strikes against them: being black and being a woman.  And, through all this, Still They Rise!

It is because of the black women’s strength, elegance, power, love and beauty that I could never date anyone except my black Queen. It is not just the outer beauty that captivates and draws me to them. It is not the fact that they come in all shapes, sizes, colors and shades that I love them. Their inner beauty is what I find most appealing about black women.                                                 
Their strong spirit, loving and  nurturing souls, their integrity, their ability to overcome great obstacles, their willingness to stand for what they believe in, and their determination to succeed and reach their highest potential while enduring great pain and suffering is why I have fallen in love with  black women.                                                                                                         
I honestly believe that your anger is geared more t oward jealousy and envy more so than snotty looks. If this were not so, then why do you continuously go to tanning salons to darken your skin? If you are so proud to be white, then why don’t you just be happy with your pale skin?                                                                                                               
Why do you continue to inject your lips, hips, and breasts with unnatural and dangerous substances so you can look fuller and more voluptuous? I think that your anger is really a result of you wanting to have what the black woman has.                                                                                                 
BOTTOM LINE: If I were looking for a docile woman, someone I can walk over and control, I would give you a  call. But, unfortunately, I am looking for a Virtuous Woman. Someone that can be a good wife and mother to my children. Someone who can be my best friend and understands my struggles. I am looking for a soul mate. I am looking for a sister and; unfortunately, you do not and CANN OT fit the bill. No offense taken, none given.”                                                                                      
Signed, Black Royalty.

What do you think?


Skinny and beautiful: how compatible?

I have known this joke about women since I was a teenager. I call it a historian’s joke that goes:

”A woman in her 20s is like Africa – half explored! In her 30s, she is like India – warm and luxuriant. In her 40s, she is like America – technically perfect. In her 50s, she is like Europe – all of ruin! In her 60s, she is like Siberia – everyone knows where it is, but not one wants to go there!”

I cannot tell the author’s name, except that it was a man – an African man. We all know that traditionally, men crack jokes about women and wine (beer) – and sometimes about wealth.  You know men’s three ws?

But I can guarantee, this is one of those jokes that wouldn’t make a woman laught. It comes from the bottom of the hearts of the some men whose cultures ordain that men are ”more equal than women!”  Above all, it tells more about what men do to explore and ruin these women, and then abandon them.

For, whence would be the ”Europes” and ”Siberias” without men? And if we were to ask older women; are they really more comfortable with older men than with younger ones?

But still the look of some modern women goes a long way to disprove the ”truth” in this joke. 

Quick examples. With due respect, if we were allowed to make physical and intellectual comparisons between certain prominent women, the facts would turn tables down.

Take Victoria Beckham, or Cheryl Cole, for instance. They are currently two of the skinniest women on earth! Given their age, they are in the ‘Indian’ part of our joke.  But they do not look luxuriant!

And compare them with another, greater world celebrity – US Secretary of State, Hillary Clinton. In her 60s, Hillary looks younger, stronger and even prettier. 

I wish Simon Cowell read this piece in his search for X Factor judges. To some of us, skinny is not good enogh for model. Time for a change.